Halacha Report: Excessive Sin Permitted Now That High Holidays Are Finally Over

FRISCH TALMUD DEPARTMENT, SOME JEWISH OFFICE, THE FRISCH SCHOOL—The school’s rabbinic administration released a statement last week stating that “rampant transgression of Jewish law is permitted—nay, encouraged—now that Sukkot and the high holidays have finally ended.”

Said assistant principal Rabbi Ciner, “We’ve all bettered ourselves as Jews over the last two or three months in preparation for the High Holidays, and hopefully we’ve all had a meaningful teshuva process. However, the time has come for all of us to begin accumulating new sins and wrongful deeds in preparation for next year’s period of repentance.”

Rabbi Ciner and his colleagues suggest that kids make sure to have some sins under their belts, so they have something to ask forgiveness for come next year.

"Without an overflowing résumé of past transgressions, the yamim nora'im are kind of a drag," continued Rabbi Ciner, "you'd be surprised how empty prayer and introspection are when one has nothing to atone for."

In a surge of religious fervor, the school has decided to make substantial changes in order to make sinning easier and more accessible on a day-to-day basis.

Among the most prominent changes are the slight re-tailoring of girl’s gym uniforms to make the sweatpants that much thinner, the movement of all Judaic subjects to the end of the day when students are substantially less attentive, and the distribution of non-kosher salt and coffee during breakfast and lunch.

And of course, Rabbi Pittinsky has asked students to use “#sinning” in all of their Frisch-related tweets.

On a closing note, Rabbi Ciner gave me the following warning as I handed him a piece of tape to post a flier advising students not to attend mishmar: “Just remember to always perform kind deeds with a ‘why am I doing this’ look on your face, leave your tefillin here over the weekend, and let your little hearts run wild.”

“All in moderation, of course.”